Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

Navaids

Phil or Andrew: “It shows on the chart there is suppose to be a VOR at the airfield.”

Local pilot: “It’s not there.”

P or A: You mean it’s out of service?”

Local pilot: “Yes Captain, it’s gone. VOR stolen.”

P or A: “Stolen? Who would steal a Navaid?”

Local Pilot: “Rebels.”

P or A: “Oh…yea, Rebels. How long has it been gone?”

Local Pilot: “Nine years.”

P or A: “But your chart is dated…nevermind.”

Aeroporto Ops After Official Sunset

P or A: “Looks like the Aeroporto lost power again. (Absolute darkness, terminal, runways, taxiways, only Southern Cross visible).

Agent: “We board now Captain?”

P or A: Will passengers be able to find the plane? I can’t see anything. Let’s wait until the lights come on.”

Agent: “We send passengers now with flashlight.”

P or A: “Great…we will proceed with shadow puppet operations until we can go.”

FO: “I get clearance now Captain.”

P or A: “Check their radios first, see if they even work. Also, ask if they have generator back up for runway lights.”

FO: “When should I ask Captain?”

P or A: “Now.”

FO: “I ask now Captain?”

P or A: “Yes, that would be nice.”

FO: “Their radio works. They say no lighting. I think OK we should go.”

P or A: “In our books at home it says we can’t depart at night without runway lights. There are reasons for this…like staying on the runway. What is your Co. policy here?”

FO: “I think it says same thing but OK go no problem.”

P or A: “Know any shadow puppets?”