Air Traffic Control
Checking on with Mozambique Control (Like SEA center only different)
Pw: “Maputo Control Mozambique 2333 with you flt level 130 for 250.”
Maputo Control: *&#@$@*&**%#
Pw: “Unreadable. Say again?”
MC: *&#@#*&*#
Pw: “Completely unreadable. 2333 eta for fix is….and fix is…”
MC: &#$#@***($$#
Lp: “Maputo radio is very bad Captain.”
Pw: “When we land we should go plug it in for them or feed the hamsters.”
Lp: “What?”
Pw: “Nevermind.”
30 min’s later…
MC: “Mozambique 2333 say @#@&& radial and *&*&#@ distance from VMA?”
Pw: “Moz. 2333 is 025 at 98 DME.”
MC: “Moz. 2333 say @#&** distance VMA?”
Pw: “2333 is 98 DME.”
Silence
Pw: Do you have a cell number? I’ll text you.”
Arrival to aeroporto: This is most likely fiction
Pw: “I can usually understand this controller but not now. What did he just say?”
Local pilot: “Yes Captain. I don’t know.”
Pw: “Well ask again for a lower altitude.”
Lp: “Yes Captain.”
Pw: “See? It’s the same. It’s like the controller is slurring his words or something.”
Lp: “The controller is drunk.”
Pw: (Laugh) “Yea…he sounds like it….”
Lp: “No Captain, he really is. The controller is drunk.”
Pw: “No s**t?”
Lp: “Yes Captain…it’s Friday.”
Pw: “Oh..yea, I suppose it is. Well let's get a landing clearance before he passes out."
pw
I LOVE reading these! They crack me up!!! Beautiful photo for the Buffalo flight. -Trevor
ReplyDeleteGood times Captain "Feel".
ReplyDeleteWhen we took an RJ to SAX in Jo-berg. I couldn't figure out who to talk to as we didn't have HF south of Libya.
Controller: "Contact ABC Control on 9600"
Us: "Unable HF,we are VHF only"
Controller: "Roger"
Us: "Do you have an Victor for us to contact?"
Controller: "Negative"
So we just pressed on and made the Air to Air position reports. Do you guys make those in the blind?
Got my fanny chewed out by some controller when we finally got to talk to someone an hour or so later. Oh well. Perry was on high "SAM" alert.
Bret