Charlie Foxtrot

Pre-Flight Crew Briefing

Flight Attendant: "How long will flight be Captain?'
Captain: "The flight today will be 1hr and 5min". (It's always 1hr and 5min......every single day. They only have 6 destinations.).
Flight Attendant: "So when will we arrive?"
Captain: "We will be arriving...let me see...(shuffling through papers)...it says here it will be 1hr
and 5min".
Flight Attendant: "So will it be an hour and 5min Captain?"
Captain: "Yes".

Approaches

Foreign Pilot boy: "So explain to me how you start this next approach procedure?"
Local pilot: "Well, we just go over here and then descend in that direction to around 1700".
FPB: What about that terrain, you know it's kinda like...uh....higher than us?"
LP: "Yea well 1700' usually does the trick".
FPB: "So you don't follow the charted procedure to guarantee terrain clearance?"
LP: Naw. Everyone gets mad when you do that".
FPB: "Alrighty then".


Charlie Bravo's (CB's) Thunderstorms

FPB: "So I was wondering (In the most respectful way) what your plan was regarding what we
see on the radar? Cuz I'm thinkin I'm seein the face of god in that there thunderstorm".
LP: "Wait a minute. I need to to talk to the company on the radio to get the weather".
FPB: "Don't we have the weather?"
LP: "Not for Maputo".
FPB: "We just left Maputo. It's behind us. Why do we need that weather.....never mind...do you
want to turn left or right to avoid the.....
LP: "I will be talking to company now..."
Flight Attendant: "Here is fruit".
FPB: "I'm sorry. Things are a bit busy now and can you remain seated due to turbulence".
Flight Attendant: "Here is water".
FPB: "For your safety could you please...."
FA: "Are you ready for meal now?"
LP: "OK, I'm back from talking with company".
FPB: "I have diverted east to avoid cells, reported estimates to ATC, refused 3 meals in a
lightning storm, oh yea, since it was your leg to begin with...did you want control the
airplane now?
LP: "I have weather for Maputo now.
FPB: "No kidding".